Weight Loss after Children

Where are you calling from, Anne?

I’m calling from Newcastle.

Okay. Newvastle, New South Wales, in Australia.

Okay, thank you.

Is that right?

That’s right.

Okay. How can I help you?

Now, I got your book in about April, and all was going fantastic at first. I’ve got a boy who’s now about 14 months. So, when he was one — up until he was one, I was at home with him, and I started reading your book and all was going wonderful. I was walking every day, for the first couple of months, I lost about seven kilos, which was wonderful. I was feeling fantastic, but as soon as I started back at work, it stopped. I haven’t been out — I know that the walking was a big thing for me. I was walking up to six K’s a day, and I even started a bit of jogging, and now I’ve got about probably 30 kilos to lose. So, it’s a decent amount. As soon as I started working, I just, I don’t know, my energy levels have just fizzled completely until they’re nonexistent.

Okay, do you have other kids?

No, I only have the one, which, I know, I feel really bad, because so many people have so much more.

No, no, no, no, listen to me, that’s not why I’m asking. Anne, there’s no judgment here. Okay? I have one kid, and I know that one kid or a hundred kids, it’s a full-time job. I’m just getting a picture of where you’re at.

So, you’ve got a 14 month old kid, which is already as full a job as anything that you could ever want. You’ve got a 14 month, and now you’re going back to work, and you’re working full time. Is that right?

Well, not full-time, but I do work about five days a week as an aged care nurse, so I'm working the afternoon shift.

What is it that you do?

I’m an aged care nurse, I work with the elderly.

I see, and is that what you did before you had a baby?

Well, I have done this previously. Before I had my son, I was drafting, but I’ve gone back to nursing, because the financial crisis ended my job in drafting. So, you know, there’s that change.

So, let me try to understand. You would rather do — is this right — you would rather do the drafting, but the opportunity is not there to do the drafting? So, you’re doing the nursing because there is an opportunity there. Is that right?.

Well, it’s not just that, but it’s been — as soon as I went back, I knew that I missed it. I love, love, love my job. I love my job more than — I love my job more now than I’ve ever loved any work. So, I’ve just been doing it for a long time previously, and I needed a change. That’s why I went to drafting, but I did that for long enough to need to go back to nursing.

Okay. So, you’re doing nursing five days a week, and what’s happening with your child? He’s in daycare?

Well, because I mostly work the afternoons, it’s my partner who looks after him in the evening.

Is he still nursing?

No.

Okay, so what I just want to say, what I’m getting a picture of, is you’re a mother of a 14 month old, and you’re working, fairly often — you’re working five days a week. So, your stress level has gone up tremendously. Is that fair to say?

Yes, that’s fair to say, and also so is my feel of guilt. I even make myself vomit just because I’ve eaten dinner. You know what I mean? I just can’t control myself anymore. I’m sorry.

Wait a second, when you say you make yourself vomit, are you being serious? Literally, you do?

I’m serious. I put myself over the toilet if I feel like I’ve eaten too much or I feel guilty about what I’ve eaten, and I, yes, I’m very — because I like to be controlled, and especially when I was walking I felt like I had control. But, I feel like I’ve lost control, and that was kind of a way of gaining control, but it’s not. And I look at myself, and I think, I’m now in my late twenties, not my late teen’s, it’s not something I should be doing.

You used to do this — no, it’s not. And this is something you did in your teens, you say?

Yes, it was, and I felt like telling myself, “Wake up.” To myself, you know? I don’t know, I’m just a mess.

Yeah, but that’s going to cause a huge problem for you. It’s not going to help you lose weight. I mean, maybe in the short term, there’s a little bit less calories that you’re getting in, but then you end up starving your body and it also causes a lot of problems because of the acids that comes up when you do that, in your esophagus and your teeth. That also causes — is going to cause a lot of problems. In the long term it will cause to you gain weight because it’s going to give you — it’s going to make you nutritionally deficient.

So, what we need to do is, first of all, deal with the control issue. I think that’s the most important thing. So, what is it that you need to control? That’s the first question I would ask.

Well, I feel like I — because I know that I’m a reasonable eater. I don’t eat junk food, I have a good varied diet, I love my fruit and veg and I think I have a very good diet that way. But, I don’t know what it is, it’s because I’m not walking and what not, I don’t understand it. I can’t, kind of, explain it. I’m sorry.

Okay, that’s fine. But, let me ask you this. You weren’t doing that before you went back to work. Is that right?

No, because I was walking. Because I told myself, “Well, okay, I’m eating now I’ll go for my walk.” And make sure I did at least 10,000 steps a day. Which said to myself — it’s kind of like, in my head — which I can’t get it to shut up — but it basically tells me, “Right, well, you’ve exercised, so you can eat.” Do you know what I mean? And I know that’s wrong, and I know at a conscious level, that’s stupid, but, at an unconscious level I can’t seem to —

Okay, what’s changed is you’ve gone back to work, you’re not walking, but also, you’re exhausted. And so, let’s see if we can deal with the stress issue. Are you listening – I have a visualization CD, a nighttime visualization CD – are you listening to that to date?

The one that I downloaded when I got the book?

Yes.

Yes, yes I listen to that.

Do you listen to it — when do you listen to it?

I try to listen to it as often as I can. Some nights it’s hard because Antony will go to bed before me, and I don’t get home until late and I don’t want to wake him up. But, because I don’t have it on an iPod, I have it on my CD player.

Okay. And when do you get any — do you have any free time just to yourself?

Well, I don’t go to bed — fortunately my partner and Bub go to bed at 7:00, so I normally have a bit of time to myself of an evening. Unless I’m working over, but even after work, even after work when I get home I’ve got a bit of me time.

And what time is that?

We have 10 minutes left and there’s another caller here in Brisbane, Tammy, who I want to take so Anne thanks very much.

Anywhere from about 7:00 to when I go to bed at maybe 10:00 or 11:00.

So, by then you’re exhausted, am I right?

Yes, there’s not much I can do by then.

You need to have your own time, during the day, at some point. You need at least, if you can get a half hour during the day. Some kind of something during the day, it’s best if you can have like a half day just to yourself, so that you get recharged. And I’ve dealt with a lot of people that are in your situation. They’re mothers that are working, they’re exhausted. They’re depleted, they’re getting pulled from all angles, they’re giving and they’re giving, and they’re giving, and they’re not replenishing. And, people that I talk to that are able to take some time off, like a half day, just for themselves during the week every week, they’re able to recharge, they’ll lose weight.

Like in the book, in Chapter 17, under “Success Profiles”, there was a lady named Sue who was very similar to you in the fact that she was working full time, and she had a 15 month old kid. And we wrote out, sort of, a recipe where she would take one day just for herself, and we talked about all the things that she could do. And, she started doing that, and she started losing weight. And nothing else worked for her, she just needed to recharge.

Now, I know, I recognize that a lot of people can’t do that. So, what I did was I made a meditation to use specifically for women, called The Living Goddess meditation. And the whole purpose of The Living Goddess meditation is for women that are mothers that are working that are giving, and giving, and giving, and not replenishing. I’ve made a tape that will allow them — it’s a mediation that allows them to replenish and reconnect with your source.

It’s called The Living Goddess mediation, and I would strongly recommend that you listen to it, and you find – it’s 25 minutes – you find 25 minutes during the day, not at night, preferably, when you’re exhausted, but if you could take a break from work and listen to that during the day, it’s going to have — over a couple of week period, you’ll find you have much more energy, you’re much less stressed out, and you’re body’s not going to want to hold on to weight, which will give you more energy. Because what happens is, the stress that you’re experiencing makes you tired and hungry, because when the FAT programs get activated, you’re body wants to conserve calories. It’s like, if you were in a famine, your body would want to conserve calories and it would want to get you to eat.

So that’s what happened, is the stress that you’re experiencing is causing the same chemistry, so you’re activating these FAT programs. When you do this meditation, the stress level goes down, you’re no longer activating those FAT programs. That makes you less hungry, it gives you more energy. When you have more energy, then you’re going to be able to do your walks, and everything is going to fall into place.

So, I would start with that. Listen to that, if you call my office, they’ll send you a complimentary copy of The Living Goddess CD, since you called in. Okay? Listen to it every day, and then call back in a month or so and tell me how you’re doing. Okay?

Thank you so much, Jon. I’m sorry if I’ve just rehashed something you’ve probably spoken about a million times.

I never get tired of callers talking about —

A million women needed to hear that, though. I have one little thought, if I might interject it.

Yes, go ahead.

When she said — are you still on the line, sweetheart?

Yes, I am.

Oh, okay. When Jon was so skillfully asking you about your day, you said, I need to feel in control- and of course he addressed that because he’s so brilliant at it – but what I heard was, you started doing this when you went to work, which is where you don’t have control.

Oh yes, interesting.

And so, the vomiting would give you back some sense of control. And, what I’ve learned from doing some of the other medical shows is that, there’s a certain amount of serotonin that’s released when we vomit like that, the bulimic state. So, you’re given sort of a fake kind of energy. It’s a high, it’s a high of sorts.

But, by dealing with it through the visualization and this mediation, you’re naturally going to feel in control because you’re going to have more energy. You feel out of control because you’re depleted. And, I just want to make a point that, that type of strategy of regurgitating your food, is not going to– is always going to lead to a type of stress called a nutritional famine that will activate your FAT programs, make you hungrier, and tireder. So, you’re borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and you’re getting a short term fix.

You’re taxing your reserves, my goodness.

Yes, and you’re going to have to pay it back with interest. So, listen to the CD for a while, and let’s see where we go with that. Okay, Anne?

Thank you so much.

You’re welcome, sweetheart.